you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize