Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My hand turned me down
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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