just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
