for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
