They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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