What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
