After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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