You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
