You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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