He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize