Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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