Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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