paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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