The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
