Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
