I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
