Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
