Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
