You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
