with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
