I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
