hell yes lets make some ravioli
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
