the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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