hotel room ftw
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
