I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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