is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
