The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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