they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
