Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
