Barsexuality is the new black.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Everyone says I win the strip club
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
When are your genitals available?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
