I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
