his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
