the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
COCAINE IS GR8
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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