Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
