dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
