Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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