he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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