Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
