Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
