OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
