After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
