it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
barbara walters just said penis...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
