The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
