i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
