Are we in a gay sports bar?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
