Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
