Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
