so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
