I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
