I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
50% drunk capacity currently
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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