try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
