So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
