i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
