What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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