I've blown a few things in my day
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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