Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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