What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
