i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize