I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I stole a fireplace last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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