someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
